Ladies Relationship questions
Q: Okay. I know how important sex is to men. I’m not saying it’s not important to women, but I know men usually want sex more than the woman does in the relationship. Recently, a few friends and I had an interesting conversation about the power of good sex. And some of my friends came to the consensus that good sex can indeed keep a relationship going strong. I think it’s a lot more complex than that, but I was interested in getting your view on rather or not it’s possible that good sex could keep a relationship together. Thanks.
A: Believe it or not, there are many people who share the same observations as your girlfriends do regarding good sex. It’s understandable, since sex is a such a focal point of our society. But the truth of the matter is, this has not, nor will it ever be true. Good sex is mind blowing, but it won’t stop a relationship from blowing…Nor can it save a marriage that was already heading for disaster.
Sex is many things, but it isn’t the only element of a relationship. Often times, we forget that, and before you know it, we have more of a booty call than an actual relationship. For this reason, I myself decided to cut it out all together until marriage. Sure the dating pool got smaller, but it paid off to take a chance most people aren’t willing to take in an oversexed culture.
What people have to remember about sex is no one is born good at it. Sorry, but we’re not even good lovers in the womb, instead, it’s clearly a skill we can sharpen over time.
And since sex is something anyone can learn to be good at, I’m not sure why we place more emphasis on how good the sex is, instead of the character of the people we’re sexing.
But here’s the truth no one ever wants to admit:
Sex doesn’t keep people together, people keep people together. The secret to an everlasting relationship is patience, respect, the commitment to continuous hard work, an understanding of who God is, and last but not least…SELFLESSNESS.
Now if you have all these things, not only will your relationship be fulfilling, but most likely, the sex will be as well.
Ever met a couple who has amazing sex, but lacks those other things? They weren’t too happy were they? And that’s because the physical is just one aspect of who we are, without the emotional and the spiritual sides taken into perspective, all of our relationships will feel pretty empty, no matter how great the sex.
So it’s not that good sex keeps a relationship together, it’s more so the icing on a delicious cake containing all the right ingredients. To think otherwise is to completely misunderstand the complexity of relationships.
Q. This is really embarrassing and hard to even really talk about, but I have to vent to someone. Okay, let me just say that my boyfriend is an amazing person and I love him dearly, but he isn’t the most endowed man. In fact, he’s barely average when it comes to penis sized. I know relationships aren’t all about sex or penis size, but it is kind of bothering me that he isn’t as big as I would like him to be. I don’t want our relationship to falter because of this, so I was wondering is there anyway that my boyfriend and I can overcome short comings? And can the sex still be good despite any of this and how?
A. Wow. No woman wants this burden, but you have to consider all aspects of this situation before you write your relationship off for doom.
There’s a misconception that sex can only be good if it’s coming from a big penised brother, but that is far from the truth. As much as we as a society rave over big penises, big penises have little to do with how good sex will be. In fact, I have heard many women complain that the more endowed men are the laziest, and are under the impression that their size somehow diminished their need to actually work in the bedroom. So size does not determine how great the sex will be.
A woman’s orgasm can be achieved no matter what a man’s penis size is. He just has to learn your body and learn how to work it. If your boyfriend is willing to do those two things, your relationship will survive his physical short comings.
What your boyfriend needs is a quick course on the female orgasm. He needs to get hip to some more positions that increase your chances of climaxing and perfect his skills in foreplay. If he does these things, size will no longer be an issue.
The best positions for a woman to reach climax is from the back, side, and even missionary (easier access to the clitoris). Perfect these, and you guys will be fine.
Q. I have been with my significant other for three years. This is my longest relationship, and I really care for him deeply. Although we have made it this far, for the last few months, there has been somewhat of a disconnect between us. We haven’t had sex for four months. We have never been at this point in our relationship, and I am beginning to wonder how we even got here. Could there be someone else?
A. Yes. And I’ll tell you why.
Sex can be a strong indicator of where a relationship is. By closely examining the level of intimacy or lack thereof in a relationship, it’s clear when a relationship is in some serious trouble. If you and your significant other have had a healthy sex life for the majority of the three years you have been together and now all of a sudden you’re not, something is definitely up. And most likely, it involves another woman.
You’ve got to figure out why you haven’t been interested in having sex and why he’s lost the desire as well. Even if there is another woman, something happened that causes a rift in your relationship, and you need to know what it is. Even if you two don’t work out, it’s a teachable moment for your next. So either way, you need to know what went wrong.
But it’s always better to talk to your partner first, and see what’s the cause of the disconnection. Sometimes it’s something as small as sex life that lacks the intensity it used to have, and sometimes bigger situations that can’t really be fixed. Ask him about the possibility of another woman, and take it from there.
Q: Why does my man always expects me to know when something is wrong?
your his lady and should know him well enough to know things, that’s why its always important to ask your lover whats wrong and how there day going. what man wants a women that doesn’t act like she care! you want your man to know when something is wrong so you should too….
Q: What should i do if my man doesn’t give head? and i do..
A: Me and my girls think that any man over the age of 21 that does give head is gay or he must not like you that much , Real men give head, if he aint eating your p#$%y then he probably sucking someone up , im just saying….
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